Someone shares a morning run. Someone else has a new job, a new home, or a routine that seems to fit neatly around everything.
You were pleased to get outside for ten minutes. Now those ten minutes feel smaller.
The walk hasn't changed. The measure has.
Dussehra offers a moment to pause here. Many celebrations recall the victory of good over evil, including Rama's victory over Ravana. The festival also holds different meanings and traditions across India. [1], [2]
This piece takes that moment as an invitation to reflect on comparison. It is one everyday reflection inspired by the occasion, rather than an account of what the festival should mean to everyone.
01When another person's progress becomes your deadline
Learning from someone can be useful. A friend might show you a walking route you hadn't considered, or a way to make time for something you enjoy.
The difficult turn comes when their example becomes a deadline for your life.
I should be that far along.
I should be able to do that much.
Why haven't I managed it yet?
A photograph, a finish time or an announcement tells you something. It rarely tells you the whole story: the help available, the years of practice, the missed attempts, or what else had to give.
Your own circumstances deserve a place in the picture too. Caring for someone, working changing shifts, recovering from illness, or simply having a difficult week can change what is possible today.
Try describing the day before judging it. What time did you actually have? What needed your attention? What did you manage within that?
02You can want change and speak kindly to yourself
It is possible to notice a gap without turning it into a verdict on your worth.
There is some research behind the idea that kindness and effort can go together. In a 2012 paper, Juliana Breines and Serena Chen reported four experiments on self-compassion and motivation. In one experiment, participants prompted to respond compassionately after an initial test failure spent more time studying for a subsequent difficult test than comparison groups. Other experiments examined motivation to address weaknesses or make amends. [3]
These were short experimental tasks. They do not establish that a kind sentence will change a long-standing habit, or that this article's suggestions will reduce distress. They do offer a reason to question the assumption that harshness is necessary for improvement.
You might try a more useful description: This matters to me. This week was difficult. What is possible now?
03Three questions for your own pace
If comparison has been following you around today, take a moment with these questions. Writing a line for each is enough.
Who am I measuring myself against?
Name the particular comparison. Is it a friend's routine, a stranger's milestone, or an earlier version of yourself whose circumstances were different?
What matters to me about it?
Perhaps the runner's post reminds you that you miss being outdoors. Perhaps the career announcement brings up a wish to learn something new. Keep the wish that belongs to you.
What would enough look like today?
Choose something that fits the day you actually have. Ten minutes outside. Asking for help. Putting one task aside so you can sit with your family. A day of rest when that is what you need.
These are reflection prompts to try, not a tested programme or another checklist to complete perfectly.
04Take a walk without making it a score
If walking is comfortable and available to you, try leaving the pace and distance screen alone for a short outing. Let the walk be about what you notice: an evening sky, familiar streets dressed for the festival, or a conversation with someone beside you.
You can also take a seated pause or spend a few minutes by an open window. There is no result to submit.
If numbers help you enjoy movement, keep them. For this one outing, you could simply notice whether you are using them as information or as a judgement.
When you return, ask: What did I notice?
Dussehra will pass, and other people's milestones will keep appearing. You can celebrate them and still give your own circumstances a fair hearing.
The ten minutes you had were yours. They still count.
05Where to read more
- Incredible India: Dussehra. Cultural background for the festival's widely recognised victory theme.
- Incredible India: Bastar Dussehra. An example of the festival's distinct regional traditions.
- Breines, J. G., and Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(9), 1133–1143. DOI: 10.1177/0146167212445599.
Sources checked 20 October 2026. Reflection prompts are suggestions, not a tested programme.